Thursday, December 5, 2013

As Soon as Her Feet Touch the Ground: A Romani Marriage



            Among the Romani peoples of Europe, marriage traditions vary with every tribe. Some allow courtship between couples. Others thrive on arranged marriages. The Roma most often marry within their communities, their tribes. However, there have been cases of Romani men marrying women from outside of the Roma ethnic group. Heritage is traced through the father in Roma society, and these outside women are usually permitted, especially if they adhere to the Romani culture and beliefs. On the other hand, Romani women are not allowed to marry outside men.
            A common stereotype, as shown in the Romani proverb “As soon as her feet reach the floor, she’s ready to wed”, is that the Roma marry off their daughters at ridiculously young ages, even before she’s had her first menstrual period. This is not true, although Roma are tutored to wed in their mid-teens, between 14 and 16 years old. Being a virgin at marriage is key for Romani women, bringing shame and bad luck to both her husband’s family and her own should she be found out come the night of her wedding. After their wedding, if a man is found to be unfaithful, there are no hard feelings, “it increased the prestige of the man, and sometimes the wife would brag about it and use it to demonstrate the quality of her husband” (romove.radio.cz 2000).
http://grad.uic.edu/gallery/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=1228&g2_serialNumber=5
            The Romani engagement consists of the fathers of the bride and the groom coming together to settle a bride price, more as compensation for the father of the bride for losing a daughter than actually buying the girl. There are two parts to Roma marriages: a ceremonial wedding and a church wedding. The ceremonial wedding is headed over by the tribal chief, and the couple drink liquor from each other’s hands before kissing. From then, they are seen as husband and wife in Roma society. The second wedding takes place in a couple of years, after the woman has proved herself fertile and faithful.

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